


Falling For My Bully

by Narry5Eva



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Narry - Freeform, narry storan - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1476166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narry5Eva/pseuds/Narry5Eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry. The hot British lad with dimples, emerald green eyes and that beautiful smile. The bisexual jock. The bully. </p><p>Niall. The cute Irish lad with ocean blue eyes, beautiful smile and contagious laugh. The Gay nerd. The victims. The one who cuts. </p><p>Niall and Harry were best friends before Niall tells Harold that hes gay. Harry starts beating him up. He falls inlove with Niall. Will Niall fall for his bully? Will Niall ever forgive Harry?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hatred

Niall's POV:

Why the fuck is he beating me up? Oh probably because I'm gay. But guess what? I most definitely hate him. Him bieng Harry Styles. I never did anything to that twat. So what if I'm gay? I'm still the same person I was before he decided that he was to cool for a gay friend. That bitch I'm taking the beating. I'm used to it. Whatever. I cut because of that twat. He caused me to do this. Everyday 2 cuts are added to each wrist. Everyday I get beat up. What do I do? Just let it happen. What does he do? He beats me up until he is satisfied. Im done with him. Every word he calls me is cut on to my wrists.

FAGGOT

STUPID

WORTHLESS

UGLY

WASTE OF AIR.

His mum and my mum are best friends so I have to act like me and Harry are still friends . Whenever she wants to drag me to his house I always make up excuses. Excuses like 'I have homework' or 'My head hurts', I'm done talking on this asshole.

The bell just rings and I try to get up but fail miserably. My back hurts. I touch my nose with my hand and try to feel if anything happened. Oh great my nose is bleeding and I have bruises all over my body. My wrists. Oh no!!! The cuts have opened up. Shit. Fuck. I run straight to the nurse. The nurse- Mrs.Smith- is really nice to me because she also has a gay son who gets beaten up everyday. She helps me clean my wrists and bandages them. I finish cleaning my nose. After that, I decide to skip school for the rest of the day.

I run out of the school and run to my friend Louis' apartment. Louis is my best friend. Even though he is 18 and working a part time job, he lets me me come over whenever I want. I'm only 17.

Harry's POV

I don't know why I beat Nialler everyday. I love him. Before he told me he was gay we used to be best friends. We would always stick together. He trusted me with his secret. I didn't accept him. But now it's too late. He hates my guts. I didnt want to lose my popularity because my best mate is gay so I started bullying him. He doesnt come over with his mum anymore. I know I shouldnt do those things to him. I should just stop beating him up. When we were beating him his shirt had blood coming through. I was scared that i had killed him but when I checked again it was coming from his wrists. He cuts. I left after seeing that. I skipped school because I was starting to break down. I cause him all that pain.

As soon as I reach my house, I walk in quickly and go into my room. I start crying because of me Niall has cut up his wrists. I have to stop this. I want him back.


	2. Secrets Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mum.. It's just Niall hates me."
> 
> "Now why would he hate you?"

Anne's POV

Harry came home early. I know he skipped school . God, what is wrong with that kid. I know something's wrong between him and Niall. There not as close anymore. I know Harry has a crush on him. Niall doesn't come with Maura anymore. I know Harry did something to him. Every time I go to Maura's house, I try to take Harry with me but he just won't budge. Niall doesn't even come downstairs when I go to his house.

I go upstairs and knock on Harry's door. I heard him crying. He opened the door and went back to where he was.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mum"

"You can tell me anything. I'm here for you."

"Mum.. It's just Niall hates me."

"Now why would he hate you?"

"Because he told me he is gay and I didn't accept him. I broke our friendship. I beat him up because I don't want to lose my popularity." He said crying.

"Harold, you can stop beating him up. He'll forgive you if you apologize?"

"That won't change anything. He will still hate me. I'm the reason he started cutting."

"He cuts! Harold you need to pick up your act and apologize. Niall didn't do anything to you. He trusted you with his secret. If me and Maura accepted him then you should to. He told us right before he told you and we accepted him."

"I'm sorry mum. I just want my best friend back."

"Fix this Harold!" I said and left the room.

I get my cell phone and call Maura. She needs to now what's been happening to her son.

"Hey Maura."

"Hi Anne"

"I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"Niall cuts!"

"He what?"

"He cuts. Harry told me."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because my son bullies him. I'm sorry Maura. I just found out. I'm really sorry."

"That changes nothing. My son is going through trouble because of Harry. What did Niall ever do to him?"

"He told Harry that he's gay. Harry didn't want to lose his popularity. So he started bullying Niall"

"That's it. I'm gonna talk to Ni. If I have to move I will. I don't need my son getting beat up by your son just because he's gay!"

"Maura, wait. Harry will..." I don't get to finish my sentence because she hung up.

Maura's POV

I'm so mad right now. How dare Harry do that to him. If I have to move I will. I want him to be happy.

The door opens and Niall comes in. The first thing I do is go up to him and take a hold of his wrists and pull up his sleeves. He looks at me scared.

"Ni. Why did you do this to yourself? " I said through tears.

"B-because of H-Harry. I made the biggest m-mistake of my l-life by telling him I'm g-gay. He b-beats me up and c-calls me all these names. Im tired of it. Who told you about t-this?" Hes also crying now.

"Anne. Harry told her. Do you want to  
move?"

"No it's okay. I'm fine."

"Your not fine. Just please don't go near Harry."

"Ok" he says. He runs to his room, and locks himself in.

Nialls POV

Fuck Harry. Why did he tell Anne? i didnt want my mum and his mums friendship to be ruined because of this. I'm done. I need the pain I deserve. I go into the bathroom and lock my self in there. I pull out my blade and place it on my wrist. I run it across my wrist and feel the pain. I love the feeling. I make two more cuts and the red liquid trails down my arm. I let the blood come out for few seconds before washing my wrists and bandaging them. I pull down my sleeve and leave the bathroom.


	3. A-paul-ogize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Haz... Its Ok. I forgive you. Its gonna take time for me to trust you again. Ok" I said.
> 
> "I know and im not expecting you to forgive me or trust me. I love you Ni. I never meant to hurt you." He says. Wait.....He loves me. What the hell.

  
Nialls POV

It's Tuesday and I'm so not ready for school. I get up and go take a quick shower. I hurry up and dry myself then put on some clean boxers. I check the time in my watch. DAMN IT. I only have 15 minutes to get ready and to get to school. I put on my red polo and white jeans. I quickly put in my shoes. I quickly walk downstairs and quickly eat my breakfast my mum made for me. I kiss my mums cheek and leave. I walk to school since I live a street away. As soon as I enter the school I regret coming. I see Harry in the distance and quickly walk into the building before he sees me. I hate his guts. I make it to my locker with our Harry seeing me. As soon as I open my locker, I put my stuff that I don't need in there an close my locker. As soon as I turn around to go to my 1st period I bump into something or someone. It's Harry. Just my fucking luck. I don't want to talk to him so I walk around him quickly before he can say anything. Shit we have all the same classes. Uggghhhhh. Can this day get any worse?

Well off to first period which is Math. My teacher is really nice. His name is Mr. Logan. He doesn't make us do a lot of. We don't have sign seats so we can sit wherever we want. I go sit down in an empty seat in the back. I take out my homework for math and do the last set of problems I have to do. Once I'm finished I look up to see class is starting. I turn around to see if anyone's sitting next to me. There right next to my seat is Harry. Fucking great. I'm trying to avoid him. Can't he see? He turns around and our eyes lock. Green met blue. I quickly turn around and start paying attention to Mr. Logan. While I was doing my work, I say something land on my desk. I take the note and read it.

**_Meet me outside later after school -Harry_ **

I nod at Harry and put the note away. What could he possibly want. As soon as the bell rings I head out to second period English. I dont really like the class. Its hard. All we do in english is learn about Shakespeare. BORING!!!!!!! When lunch finally came, I got my lunch and sat down with my two best friends. Liam and Marcel. We're the best of friends. Liam is like a brother to me. Marcel is harrys twin. I like Marcel. He doesnt beat me up. He knows Im gay and accepts me. Same with Liam. I used to be friends with Zayn and Harry before i told them I am gay.Lets just say zayn follows Harry because they're best friends, but unlike Harry, Zayn never hurts me. After lunch, all the classes go by faster.

Its the end of the school day. I go outside to look for Harry. When I find him, I go over and tap him on the shoulder.

"Hi Nialler"

"What do you want Harry?"

"Im Sorry.I mean it.Im sorry i didnt accept you. I was just scared. Im sorry for making you hate me. Im sorry for making you cut. I didnt mean any of those things i called you" He says as tears roll down his cheecks,

"Haz... Its Ok. I forgive you. Its gonna take time for me to trust you again. Ok" I said.

"I know and im not expecting you to forgive me or trust me. I love you Ni. I never meant to hurt you." He says. Wait.....He loves me. What the hell.

"Harry stop crying please. "

"Ok.Niall can you please stop cutting?"

"Harry, I dont know. Ill try." I say and hug him. he hugs back.


	4. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so happy you and Harry have madeup now" Mum hugged Niall tightly
> 
> "So you two are best friends again" Marcel asked
> 
> "Yup" I nodded and looked over at Niall

**Niall's POV**

"Ok.Niall can you please stop cutting?"

"Harry, I dont know. Ill try." I say and hug him. he hugs back

"I love you Niall...Like love you more than a friend" Harry looks me in the eye

"You love me....wait what you love me" I ask confused

"The truth is i have fallen for you and the only reason i started picking on you was because i wanted to hide my feelings, give me one chance to prove i love you Nialler" Harry spoke

I said nothing but just hugged him tightly "Harry i'll see you tommorow, i gotta go home now" I whispered in his ear since he still hadn't let go of me

"No Niall...I want to take you home with me, Mom would love to see you please and you can invite your mom over to have dinner too" Harry smiled

"Ok" I smiled back at him before he kissed my cheek  
  


**Harry's POV**

When we got home, Me and Niall went straight to the kitchen

"Hiii mum" I smiled

"What is it Harry, i'm busy making dinner" She replied

"Harry is smiling like a lunatic Mummy cause Niall is here" Marcel spoke

"Shut up Marc" I glared at him

Mum turned around and the spoon nearly fell out of her hand "Oh my Niall is here" Mum smiled before running over to Niall and kissing his face

"Auntie Anne, my face is hurting" Niall tried to squeeze out of mum's grip

"I'm so happy you and Harry have madeup now" Mum hugged Niall tightly

"So you two are best friends again" Marcel asked

"Yup" I nodded and looked over at Niall

"Niall still loves me more right Ni" Marcel looked at Niall

"Right" Niall laughed causing me to pout

Mum and Marcel had gone over to call Maura and me and Niall were alone in the house

"Ni" I spoke

"Yeah Haz" Niall looked at me putting his glass of Orange juice on the table

"I'm really sorry once again, i hope your mum doesn't hate me" I spoke

"Mum doesn't hate you and i forgive you....I really trust you this time Harry please don't break it" Niall smiled

"I promise i won't Nialler" I smiled as i pulled him close and leaned in "Can i kiss you" I asked

"Ofcourse idiot" Niall smiled before i connected our lips and felt the sparks

"Will you be my boyfriend Niall" I asked

"Only if you will be mine" Niall smiled before i kissed him once again

10mins later mum had gotten back and Maura was alongside her with Marcel behind them

"Niall" Maura spoke

"Yes mum" Niall replied

"So you have forgiven Harry" She looked at me

"Yes mum, Harry truly feels guilty for what happened and i have forgiven him and i would be happy if you forgive him too" Niall looked at me smiling

"Harry you better not hurt my son ever again" Maura spoke

"I promise I will never hurt Niall ever" I smiled

"We have something else to tell you" Niall grabbed my hand and enterwined our fingers

"What is it" Mum spoke

"Me and Niall are together, we love each other" i smiled nervously

Mum came running over towards me and Niall and hugged us tightly followed by Maura

"I am so happy for both of you" Mum wiped her eyes

"Keep my son happy Harry" Maura smiled

Marcel looked over at me "I am happy for you too" He smiled

After a lovely meal, mum and Maura were chatting downstairs, Marcel was in his room doing his homework and me and Niall were in my room lying down on the bed

"I love you Niall" I spoke

"I love you too Harry" Niall replied

I suddenly got up and pulled Niall up with me "Sleeves up" I ordered

"But why Harry" Niall spoke

"Just do it" I replied

When Niall had done his sleeves up he had marks everywhere, I held his arm lightly and started kissing every mark "I am so sorry for doing this to you Niall" I whispered

"It's ok Harry" Niall smiled

"Promise to never do it again" I looked up at him "Promise" Niall smiled before i kissed him lips softly

I had Niall back in my life and i had no plans of ever letting him go away.


	5. Turned On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your turning me on babe"

Harry's POV

I hate myself for everytime I hurt Niall. He is so innocent and vulnerable. He didnt derve any of that just like I dont deserve him. I promised not to hurt him and I am going to keep my promise. I just hope he doesnt keep cutting himself. If he starts again I dont know what I would do. I love him so much. I'm gonna make it up to him by taking him on a date.

"Ni, babe?"

"Yes"

"Do you umm.. Maybe want to go on a date with me?"

"Course babe"

"How about tomorrow?"

"That's great. Do you still have me number?"

"Yeah, babe. I never deleted you from my contacts."

"Ok. I still have yours too."

"Great" I kissed Niall and the kiss soon turned heated. He shoved his tongue into my mouth. I started sucking on his tongue. I heard him moan. That was a sweet sound to my ears. I can feel myself getting hard so I pull away from the kiss. I looked down and saw Niall getting hard too. I wasn't ready for that and I know Niall wasn't either.

"Why'd you pull away?" Niall asked

"Umm... I..uhh" I stuttered

"Haz?"

"Your turning me on babe"

"Oh."


	6. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Love You 
> 
> Love you too

Harry's POV

Today is the day. Mine and Nialls first date. I hope everything goes well. I just want to make him feel special. I already have everything set up for the date. I hope he likes it. I send Niall a text.

**Get ready babe. In picking you up at 7. -HazXx**

I set my phone on the table while I went to take a shower. All I could think about was Niall, Niall, Niall. When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist. As I was putting on my boxers my phone rang, indicating that I had gotten a text

_Ok Boo. Where are you taking me love? -NiallerXxx_

I answered Niall saying:

**I'm not telling you babe. It's a surprise. -HazXxx**

I went to go get dressed. I wore my black skinny jeans with my black shirt.

_Please Hazzy. Tell me boo.. -NiallerXxx_

He really wants to know but too bad I'm not saying anything.

Nialls POV

**Be patient babe. ;) -HazXxx**

I can't be patient. I want to know where my hazzybear is taking me.

I decide to go take a shower since its almost 7. I have about 30 minutes to get ready. I already had my picked out earlier. Marcel picked it out for me. He has a good taste. I know he wears the sweater vest and black work pants. It suits him. If I wasn't attracted to Harry. I would definitely go for Marcy. Anyways back to showering.

I go to the bathroom and take off all my clothes and hop into the shower. The warm water sends shiver through my body. I wash my hair and my body. I get a towel and wrap it around my waist. That day when me and Haz were kissing and we both got turned on, I wanted to do it with him. I realize its to early in the relationship. After all we just got together.

I put on my boxers and then put my outfit on. I'm wearing my black jeans with a tank top and a sweater. I style my hair up in a quiff and I'm ready to go. I still have 5 minutes till he picks me up.

_Baby, please...-NiallerXxx_

After about 30 seconds my phone vibrates.

**Hunny, I'm coming to pick you up. Just wait and you'll see babe. Love you -HazXxx**

_Ok boo. I love you too -NiallerXxx_

I do love Haz. Ever since he apologized, he stuck by me. I know he didn't mean to hurt me but it did. I forgave him. I know he's trying to earn my trust, but I do trust him with my heart.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear the doorbell ring. I opened the door. Harry looked beautiful not that he wasn't already beautiful. I gave him a hug and a kiss. it turned out to be another heated snog session. We could feel the sparks in the kiss. I pull away and put on my shoes and get my keys from the counter. I locked the door and walk over to the passenger seat.  
I got in the car. After putting on the seatbelt I shut the door and Hazz started driving. His hand found his way over to my hand. He intertwined our hands.

"Can you tell me where we're going now? I'll give you a kiss"

"I'm getting that kiss but I'm not telling you where I'm taking you babe."

"Fine then no kisses"

"Whatever you want babe."

"HAZZYYYYYY"

"Niiiiiiiibear"

"Please"

"Baby. Be patient. We're almost there"

He squeezed my hand. I leaned my head and put it in the window. The scene was beautiful. After about 10 minutes we got to our location. I think. He puts a blindfold on me.

"C'mon babe. This way." Haz said taking my hand.

I followed Harry or more like he dragged me. He took the blindfold off and I was amazed by the scene. It was a field with some trees and a bunch of flowers. I saw a lake too.

"Babe, this is amazing"

"Thanks love. I always come here to think. I just wanted to show you."

He had a blanket set on the ground with a picnic basket. There were candles on each corner of the blanket. They were lit. It looked beautiful.

We sat down and Harry took out two plates and food out of the basket.After we ate our sandwiches and pie we sat by the lake, our feet in the water. Our hands intertwined. We sat there for a couple of minutes watching the sunset before we decided to go home. The car ride was quiet but it wasnt a uncomfortable silence. 

"That was a perfect first date Haz." I say when we reach my door.

"Im glad you think so babe. "

"Wanna come in?"

"No I have to get home babe."

He leaned in to connect our lips. He was moving really sloooooow so I grabbed him by his shirt and pressed my lips to his lips. Our lips moved slowly in a passionate kiss. I could feel the fireworks and the butterflies.

"Goodnight babe. Ill see you tomorrow"

"Goodnight boo. I Love you"

"I love you too." He pecked my lips three times and left.

I went inside. My lips still tingling from the kiss. His kisses are the best.


	7. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You would never be a bad person, Marc. You didnt beat up your friends." Louis said.

Harry's POV

Me and Niall have been together for 2 weeks now. Our first date was the best. Especially the kiss. Only our parents and Marc know about us. Niall wants to tell Zayn, Liam and Lou.

_Hazzy, come over? In bored. -NiallerXxx_

I told my mum that I'm going over Niall's. Niall is like mums second son.   
She adores him.

**I'm coming babe. Be there in 5. -HazXxx**

As soon as I text him, I'm out the door. Niall lives 3 houses away from mine. I walk to his house and knock on the door. Nialls mum opens the door and gives me a hug. She's like a second mum to me. I walk in.

"Hey Harry. How is it going?"

"Hi. I'm good. You?"

"I'm good. Niall's upstairs in his room"

"Ok ill go up."

I walk up the stairs and go to his room. As soon as I open the door, Niall looks up from his laptop. He is so adorable. I walk in and sit down on his bed.

"Hazzy!"

"Hi babe."

He sits up and walks over and straddles my hips. He slowly leans in and connects our lips. The kiss was full of passion. Our lips move together in a slow pace. I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. He opens his mouth and my tongue invades his mouth. Our tongues message each other. I began sucking his tongue which earns a moan from Niall. I pull away for air.

"Wow" Niall said.

I chuckle and peck him on his lip three times.

"What do you wanna do, babe?"

"Kiss"

"Hahaha. Anything else?"

"Lets Fuck"

"What?" I said choking on my saliva.

"I'm kidding boo. Lets cuddle."

"Haha ok babe." I said kissing his forehead.

Me and Niall cuddle with my arms wrapped around his small frame . His arms wrap around my waist and his head in the crook of my neck.

"Hazz?"

"Yeah babe"

"Do you want to tell the boys about us"

"Yeah babe. Only if you're ready to tell them."

"I wanna tell them."

"Ok we'll tell them tomorrow."

"Ok boo."

"Niall. Can I see your wrists?"

"Uh... Y-y-yes."

He pulled up his sleeve and showed me his wrists. Scar after scar. I couldn't take it so I started crying. I made him do that.

"Boo, stop crying. I'm fine."

"It's not okay. I made you do that. I led you to it. I'm sorry, Ni. I'm sorry."

"Haz look at me. It's okay. I'm fine. I love you. " he said reassuringly.

"I love you too. " I said.

He straddled my hips and connected our lips. Our lips moved together but no one took it a step further. Sparks fly when we touch.

"Babe. Don't blame yourself. You made up for it. I have you and that's all I need to be happy."

"Ok Ni. I promise I won't leave you. I love you,"

"I love you too babe."

I pecked his lips 3 times. He hugged me. Im kinda nervous about telling the boys. They accepted me and Nialler being gay but I'm doubting that they'll accept our relationship.

*Monday*

Niall's POV

My first two classes were so long because Hazz wasn't in my class. It was a new semester so we didn't have 1st period together. I basically just texted him the whole time I was in class. I can tell he is nervous about coming out to the boys but we have to do it. At least we will be able to be ourself around them. I love Hazzy so much. If the boys dont except it then I dont care. My Hazzy is the one for me.  **(LOL I dont know. Im just writing random stuff)**

I was walking into the cafeteria with Harry when I see Liam and Louis making out at the table. I didnt notice Marcel and Zayn until Harry nudged me in the shoulder and pointed to them. Now they have to accept me and Harry. We walk over to the table hand-in-hand. Harry clears his throat and the 4 boys look at us with red faces.

"Care to explain guys?" Harry asked sitting down next to Liam.

"Um.......erm. ............uh......" Louis stuttered

"We're waiting" Harry stated.

"Me and louis are together and we've been dating for a month now." Liam answered.

"Me and Marcel have been together for 3 weeks now." Zayn said.

"Why didnt you tell us?" I asked,

"well umm because we werent talking to Harry then and we didnt want to make you feel like a 3rd wheel so we kept it on the low." Liam replied.

I looked at Harry and he looked hurt. I squeezed his hands reassuringly.

"Ok. Me and Harry have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"W-w-we're d-dating. F-for 2 w-weeks now" Harry stuttered out.

"Thats awesome. Harry dont hurt Ni." Zayn said.

"Zayn. He wont" I scolded

"I already knew about this." Marcel joined in.

"What? Why didnt you tell us boo?" Zayn asked

"It wasnt my place to tell. I could tell that they weren't ready to tell anyone about their relatonship. I would be a bad person if I did that" Marcel answered and Harry hugged him.

"You would never be a bad person, Marc. You didnt beat up your friends." Louis said.  **(Mwahaha PLOT TWIST GUYS!!!)**

Harry got up and ran out of the cafeteria with tears streaming down his face.

"That was not necessary Louis. He feels bad about it and he already fucking apologized so get the fuck over it." I said aggravated.

I got up and ran after Harry. I didnt find him in the school. He was sitting under the tree where we used to sit together before the whole gay thing started.

"Baby?"

He didnt answer me. I went closer to him and saw his eyes red from crying. I sit down next to him and grabbed his hand intertwining our fingers.

"Babe?"

"Hey Ni."

"Please dont get upset over it. You know I forgive you and that I love you so much. "

"He's right. I hurt you. Im a bad person for beating you up. You deserve someone better Ni. "

"I dont care if you hurt me or beat me up in the past. Hazzy I only want you, no one else. I love you baby."

"No you deserve someone whos not a bully. Someone who would have accepted you in the first place instead of beating you up."

I straddle his hips so I could see his beautiful emerald green eyes that were now dull. I planted a kiss on his lips.

"Hazzy. Stop!!! I only want you. Babe c'mon we can skip and go to my house. My mums not home until 8."

"Ok."


	8. Happily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ni, i was only gone for like 2 minutes."
> 
> "I know but I missed you Haz"

Nialls POV

"Hazzy. Stop!!! I only want you. Babe c'mon we can skip and go to my house. My mums not home until 8."

"Ok."

He hasn't said anything ever since we got home. I can see him silently crying. All he says is "he's right." Or "you deserve better". I even heard him say "we shouldn't be together". To tell you the truth. It really hurt when he said that.

"Baby..."

He's not even replying when I call him. I wish Louis hadn't said that. Harry isn't taking it too well. I just want him to talk to me.

"Boo. Don't listen to him please. Babe"

"He's right."

" Baby stop. I love you, ok."

"I love you too"

He attacks my lips hungrily. I kiss back. Our lips move together in a slow pace. The kiss is full of love. He traces his tongue across my bottom lips. I open my mouth and he explores my mouth. He then messages my tongue with his. Then he bites my bottom lip. He kisses the corner of my lips, my jaw and moves down to my neck. I move my head to give him more space. He bites my neck to form a love bite. I let out a moan.

"That was..... " I say

"Hot" Harry finishes my sentence.

I attack his lips. Lets just say it got really hot and steamy

***********************  
Marcel's POV

"What the heck?" Ugh Lou just pisses me off sometimes. He really didnt have to do that. It wasnt necessary.

"What? I only said the truth"

"Like Ni said. He already apologized. He feels bad about it. So stop mentioning it." I yell.

"Babe, calm down. It's ok. Ni just texted me saying Harry's ok and he's with him at his house." Zaynie said.

"No it's not. Your supposed to be his friend. Not his fucking enemy."

"Did you just cuss?" Liam asked.

Ok so I'm supposed to be as innocent as a puppy. Well damn guys. This is my first time saying it.

"Ummmm.........erm..... Uh..." I stuttered.

"I thought it was sexy." Zayn said with a smirk.

"That's beside the point." I whine.

"I'm sorry Marcel. I know I'm supposed to be his friend but I don't like what he did to Niall." Lou said.

"I'm not the one you should apologize to."

"I know. I'll apologize to them after school." Louis looked like he was about to cry

"Babe, don't cry." Liam spoke up.

After lunch, me and Zayn decided to skip our classes. He wanted to spend more time together. I dont really like school that much. I look like I do but I really dont. We decided to go to my house since Harry was with Ni. As soon as we got to my house. Zayn thought it would be a good idea to pin me against the wall and have make out session. We're not even inside the house. I pulled away and turn to lock the door. Once inside, he pinned me against the wall again. What is this boys obsession with pinning me against the wall? I look into his eyes and see they're full of love and lust. Well, shit. I put my arms around his neck and his hands travel down to my waist. He's a bit taller then me, so he leans down and connects our lips. The kiss soon gets heated. His tongue in my mouth. His hands go under my shirt. His hands are warm. Before he can pull if my shirt I pull away and take him to my room. Our lips connect into another heated kiss and this time Zayn takes off my shirt. I pull his shirt off. Now he was full on grinding on me. He takes off my jeans and I do the same. The room was filled with moans and groans and swearing because Zayn kept squeezing my bum if I didn't say fuck. He said it was sexy.

***********************  
Louis' POV

I honesty feel bad for saying that to Harry. I only said it because he hurt my best friend. We're all protective of Niall and Marcel because they're the youngest and both of them are like my little brothers. Harry and Marc are twins but we're more protective over Marc because he's the innocent one. Back to the point. Liam texted Harry and asked if we could come over. He replied ok. Now Liam and I are walking to Niall's house. Lets hope we dont walk in on them cuz thats a sight I wouldnt like to see.

As soon as we reach Nialls house we walk right in since he knows we're coming. As soon as we enter the kitchen I see Niall laying under Harry shirtless snogging.

Liam fake coughs next to me to get Harry and Niall's attention. The look in their faces are priceless.

"Erm.. Hi guys" Niall says.

"You guys move on fast." Liam says. I see Niall blushing while Harry looks horrified.

"We. We're. Just ummmm... Doing .... er...things." Harry stutters.

"Awe you guys are so adorable" Liam coos

"Thanks" Harry says.

"Anyways I came over to say sorry to Harry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm just really protective over Niall."

"It's okay, Lou. I understand"

"Thanks Haz."

"You guys wanna a have a sleepover at my house" Harry asked."my mum hasn't seen you in a a long time."

"Yeah sure. We'll see you then. Bye" Liam says as we leave Niall's house.

**************************  
Harry' POV

Damn that was close. Anyways im walking home right now. Niall really is the best. I understand why Lou said what he said. If I was in his place I would've done the same thing. My house is across the street from Niall so if I wanted I could stay until midnight. I open the door and as met with loud moans coming from Marcels room and i heard him cuss. I guess I better go back to Nialls. As soon as I knock on the door Niall opens the door and attacks me in a hugs.

"Ni, i was only gone for like 2 minutes."

"I know but I missed you Haz"

"Im gonna stay here until we have the sleepover."

"Yeah. Is something wrong?"

"No. Marc and Z are doing the dirty."

"oooooohhhhhhhhhh" Niall says as he bursts out laughing.

"Can we go inside, babe?"

"Oh yeah. Can we cuddle and watch a movie?"

"Sure baby."

I lay down on the sofa and Niall lays down next to me. Him bieng the little spoon. We watch finding Dory because Niall wanted to watch it.


	9. Sleepover

Liam's POV

Ok. I did not expect us to walk in on them. That was awkward. At least they're getting along. Im happy that Niall and Harry are together. I knew Niall had a crush on Harry but I didnt expect that from Harry. He had hurt him but thats in the past. Marcel's right. Haters need to pick thier balls up and get on with it. (AN: Twitter Reference) Anyways me and Lou are on our way to Harry's house. I hope Harry didnt go to his house yet because I heard Marcel moaning and cussing from Niall's house. They were so loud. Lou didnt hear it cuz he was lost in thought. It would be hilarious if Haz walked in on them. Imagine walking in on two of your best friends getting it on. Not the best sight in the world. Anyways, we're standing out of Harry's door. We can hear Niall. You hear him before you see him. I knock on the door and a few seconds later Marcel comes into sight. Hes not wearing his formal clothes just a tanktop that shows his tattoos and shorts. Wait... tattoos. When did he get those? We step inside and walk over to Niall and Harry giving them a group hug.

"Hi guys. Wheres Z?" Lous aksed.

"He's coming in a few minutes. He was here earlier. Maybe Marc will like to tell you the details." Harry responded with a smirk.

"Yeah Marcel. Wanna tell us what was going on earlier when me and Lou went to Niall's house. We could hear you moaning all the way from there."

Marcel was now red as a beet.

"It was...uh...uhm..erm.."

"Save it marc. We're just messing with ya. So when did you get all those tattoo?"

"A couple of months back. Z took me with him and I really wanted a tattoo so I got one and then I just kept getting more."

"Aaah. I see."

We fell into a comfortable silence until Niall and Harry start snogging. We had to break them apart. They would not stop kissing.

"Seriously guys. Keep the PDA to a minimum."

"No" Niall and Harry said at the same time.

Just as I was about to say something the door bell rings indicating that Zayn is here. Marcel limped down the living room to open the door. Z stepped in and Marc hugged him. The hug soon turned into a very heated kiss.

"Hi Zayn. Can you stop frickle frackling?"

"Hi Ni. No we can't"

"Frickle frackle?" Harry asked confused.

"Yes frickle frackle" Marcel answered.

"What the fuck is frickle frackle?" Lou asked.

Niall whispers something in Harry's ear. By the look on his face, niall probably told him what frickle frackle meant. Me and Zayn know what it means. I quickly whisper it into Louis' ear and bite it. He lets out a little moan at my action.

Zayns POV

After we got settled, we started watching movies. We watch catching fire and frozen. I love frozen because it was heartwarming and Olaf was so cute. Me and Marc cuddle. Niall and Harry on another sofa cuddling. More  
like making out. Lou and Li were also cuddling.

"Babe?"

"Yeah"

"I love you"

"I love you too baby"

Marc gives me a lingering kiss. We go back to watching the movie but with Narry snog session no one can focus.

"Omg stop making out. God dammit" Lou spoke up

"Sorry" Niall says

"It's too cute." Marc said

"Disgustingly cute" I say

"Your one to talk Z. I could hear Marcel moaning from my house." Ni replied.

"We'll then..." Marc answered with his cheeks red.

"It okay baby" I whisper in his ear.

He shivers when I touch him.

"Oi, stop being so cute" Liam called out

I look up to see the boys staring at me and Marc.

"I'm off to bed. I don't know about you but I'm tired."

"Wait, where are we sleeping?"

"Niall's with me. Zayns with Marcel. Li and Lou care in the guest room."

"Ok"

"Don't frickle frackle without me" Niall screamed as he followed Harry up the stairs.

Seriously this boy has a weird obsession with the word frickle frackle.  
Me and the boys go upstairs. LILO go to the guest room which is next to Marcel's room. Harry's room is on thee side of Marcel's. We say goodnight to each other and go into our rooms.

Niall's POV

As soon as me and Harry get to his room, he starts kissing me. We just can't get enough of each other. He moves down to my neck. I move my head a little to give him more space. He starts licking and biting my skin, leaving a lovebite. I let out a moan.

"Babe, let's go to sleep. I'm tired" I tell Haz

"Alright baby." He says as he jumps into his bed. I crawl over to him and lay down. He pulls me closer to him. We cuddle.

"Goodnight baby. I love you forever and always"

Goodnight snowflake. I love you too forever and always"


	10. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I cant believe you cheated on him"

Third person POV

It has been a month since Niall and Harry have been together. Niall is in the hallways kissing someone other then Harry. The person being Jake.  
What Niall doesn't know is that Harry knows. He's watching them from a far. What Harry doesn't know is that Jake initiated the kiss. Harry knows that Niall is kissing back.

It's lunch time and everyone is looking for Harry because he's not with them. Niall's worried too but really should he be worried. After all it takes two to cheat on someone.

Harry is at his house. More specially in his room. He's throwing things around. Niall broke him this time. He can't take the pain so he decides to go to his favorite place. No one can find him there. No it's not the place he and Niall went for their first date. It's a lake.

Niall tries to call him but Harry doesn't answer. He tries texting him but Harry doesn't reply. He goes to his house but he's not there. He's worried that Harry might have seen him cheating. He regrets it. Regrets kissing his ex. He might have lost Harry forever. The most important person in his life.

Was he not good enough? Why would he do that? Harry can't stop thinking about the kiss. He didn't even notice He was standing a feet away from him. He wonder if he'll tell him or lie.

**Baby? Please answer my calls. NiallerXx**

**Babe NiallerXx**

**Hazzy answer me please NiallerXx**

Harrydecidedhewould text him.

 **Would you ever**   **cheat on me? Harry**

**Babe. Of course I wouldnt. NiallerXx**

Harry decide to go to his house and get an explanation out of him. He bet he'll just lie to him like he did right now.

Harry went to Niall's house. He knocked on the door and a worried Niall opened the door. Niall hugged him but Harry didn't hug him back. Niall knew something was wrong.

"Babe? What's wrong?"

"Would you ever cheat on me?"

"No of course not"

"DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME. You can lie to me when we're texting but not to my face"

"I'm not lying"

"Really Niall? Are you fucking serious? I saw you and Jake kissing in the hallways."

"I-I-I'm S-s-sorry"

"How long has it been going on?"

"A week"

"A fucking week. Good thing I caught you."

"Harry please"

"Save it. It's over"

"No please no I'm sorry"

"We're over. Don't bother with your explanations."

"Babe"

"Don't call me that. We're not together."

"I'll do anything"

"NO. It's fucking over."

Harry left after that. Niall broke down. Tears falling down both their faces. Their hearts broken.

Harry stopped talking to the boys. He didn't sit by them at lunch and whenever they came over he would find an excuse to leave the house. He didn't want to see Niall. Not after what he had done. He didn't talk to anyone.

Liam, Louis, Marcel and Zayn knew there was something wrong between Harry and Niall. Harry no longer talked to them. Probably because they sit with Niall.

"Niall. Why hasn't Harry been sitting with us?"

"We broke up"

"Why?"

"I cheated on him with Jake"

"What the hell Niall? Why would you do that to my brother?"

"Idk."

"Marcel calm down."

"Whatever. I'm going to look for Harry"

Marcel left the table to find his twin. He knew Harry would be more broken. He knew where Harry would be sitting by himself somewhere.

"Haz?" Marcel said sitting next to him.

"Yeah."

"Niall told us"

"Ok. You can go back to your boyfriend now."

"No. I'm staying here. Your my brother. You come before Zayn."

"It's fine. I don't need anyone"

"Hazzy. Don't do this. Just ignore Niall and sit with us."

"I can't. I still love him" Harry started crying. It hurt Marcel to see his brother like that. It hurt Harry too much. He thought Niall had forgiven him for bullying him but guess not. Everything they had was fake. Thats what Harry thought. Niall knew everything they had was real but still he cheated.

They were broken but only one thing could bring them back together. 


	11. Broken

Niall's POV

I always hang out with Jake because Im trying to make harry jealous but its not working beecause he is always quit around me. Everytime I sit next to him, he ignores me. He hates me and its all my fault. Why did I even cheat on him? Marcel told me that Harry thinks that I was only faking our relationship and that I only used him to make Jake jealous. I wasnt faking our relationship. I dont want Jake. What we had was real. Harry obviously doesnt think so. He also thinks that I dont forgive him for bullying me. I do forgive him. Even Marcel has stopped talking to me. I get it. If someone was cheating on my brother then I would be pissed off at them too. I really wanna fix this mess. I want him back. I need him. I love him.

I decide to write a note to Harry to meet me afterschool. He has no choice but to show up. I give it to him but he looked hesitant. None the less he does show up.

"Harry. Please Im really sorry"

"Niall, its fine. Can I go now?" Well that didnt hurt at all. He cant even stand me anymore.

"I mean it. Please give me another chance."

"Why would I give you another chance? Just so you could cheat on me again?"

"Because I love you and I want you and only you. I dont want jake. No I wouldnt cheat on you... again"

"No Niall. Its better this way. I understand that our relationship was fake to you. i understand that you used me to get Jake back. I understand that you didnt forgive me for bullying you. I understand. So just go back to your precious boyfriend and leave me alone."

"Harry please I love you. Our relationship wasnt fake to me. I didnt use you to get Jake ..."

"You clearly did Niall. I caught you red handed."

" I didnt use you to get him back. I did forgive you. He's not my...."

"Stop. Stop lieing. You lied twice about not cheating so how the fuck am I supposed to believe you."

" Harry. Im sorry. Please just listen to me."

"I dont want your fucking excuses. Just leave me the fuck alone."

He walked away. I tried calling him but he didnt listen. Thats when i broke down. I lost him forever. i cant do this. I need the pain. Im so useless. I run to my car and drive home as fast as I can. Mums not home so I unlock the door and run into my room. I go tot the bathroom and take out my best friend. My blade. I put the blade to my arm, but I cant do it. I promised Harry that I wouldnt cut. I press the blade down on my wrist. I slide it across my arm and when I see the blood that when I start to calm down. Cutting gives me pleasure.

Harry's POV

It still hurts to see Niall at school. We have classes together after lunch and he purposely sits next to me. I try to ignore him but I cant. I see him with Jake all the time. How can he choose him over me? He already moved on. I'll find someone soon. It wont be niall but I will find someone. Someone who wount cheat on me and then lie to my face about it. Niall just put up an act when I told him its over. He clearly didnt care about my fucking feeling. I go back to my old mean self. The one that would bully people. But this time it was different. I didnt bully anyone just through rude comments at them. I never once spoke to Niall. When Niall gave me that note, I was hesitant at first. I do go see him though.

He apologized and I forgave him. I didnt show any emotion. I didnt want him to use me again. I fell for his trap once but never again. I dont believe him when he tells me that our relationship wasnt fake to him. I didnt believe him when he said he didnt use me. I know he did. He cant lie to my face. It was becoming too much so I left. I went home. I cried till I ran out of tears. I saw Niall through my window. He was in his room with that blade in his hand. He wouldnt do that. He promised. I see him him slice his wrist and thats when I lost it. I ran out of my house and into his house and going straight up to his room. His door is unlocked so I just walk in.

I gasp at the sight in front of me. He had moved to his bathroom and he left it open. I could see his bloody wrists.

"Niall."

"Harry. Its not what you think it is."

"Are you done lieing? I saw you."

"Im sorry"

"Why'd you cut? Why did you break your promise?" I help him clean his wrists and bandage them.

"Because I messed up. I lost you forever. You dont want me back. I want you back. I need you Harry." He says while tears stream down his face.

"You did this because of me"

"yes. I feel useless. I lost the only person important to me other than mum."

"I forgave you for cheating. Didnt I? What more could you possibly want?"

"I want us back together. I love you Harry."

"I love you too Niall but we cant get back together."

"why not?"

"Because We just cant. I dont want to get hurt again."

"I wont hurt you again. Please Harry. Give me another chance."

He presses his lips against mine. I dont kiss back though. I want to but I cant. I don't want to get hurt a second time. He pulls away with tears in his eyes.

"Please Harry. Just one more chance"

"We'll talk about this later Niall. You look tired so go to sleep."

"Dont leave me Haz."

"I wont. I'll be here when you wake up." I peck him on the lips. Theres no harm done in just a peck. He smiles and falls sleep.


	12. Better Together

Harry's POV

To be honest I want to be with Niall. .It hurts to see him like this. If we'd over back together, I'm afraid he will cheat on me again. I just dont want to get hurt again. I dont want to resort to cutting again. Thats right I used to cut. Niall doesnt know. I dont want him to know. I wish he didnt cut himself because of me. He doesnt know how much he hurt me when he cheated on me. It was like stabbing someone with a knife.

In 6th grade before I met Niall, I was my dads punching bag. Marcel was always his favorite. He got good grades and everything. I was not a good learner. My dad always called me ugly and fat. I felt worthless, and useless. Thats when I started cutting. I stopped talking. I stopped eating. My mum knew nothing about the beatings. People bullied me at school. They would tell me to kill myself. I did what made me happy. Cutting made me happy. One day my dad almost raped me. My mum had heard me screaming. She ran into my room. That week my parents argued alot. I stayed at my aunts house. Soon they got divorced. Thats when I went back to my mum. Marcel, mum and I packed our stuff and moved. A month later, Niall and his mum had moved in across from us. Thats when we became friends. Best friends. We did everything together. He even told me how he had a brother and that his dad was with Greg. Me and Niall instantly became friends. Then in 9th grade he told me about him being gay. I bullied him because I had feelings for him. Now here we are.

I desperately want us to get back together. I know Ni does too. I'm just scared. Niall doesn't know that I used to cut. I'm planning on keeping it a secret. Marcel knows and so does mum.

"Hazz.. What are you thinking about?" Niall asks from beside me. I had layed down and Niall cuddled into me.

"Nothing"

"Hazzy?"

" Yeah Ni"

"What ya thinkin' about?"

"My past"

"Can you tell me?"

"uh-uh-um"

"Babe, please?"

"um. ok. Before we met, My dad would beat me up and one day he almost r-r-raped m-m-m-e. People at school bullied me. They told me to k-k-kill myself. I started c-c-cutting. "

"Hazzy. Why didnt you tell me?"

"I didnt want to tell you about my dad. I didnt want it to get between us" I sighed defeated"

"It wouldnt have. i would've still loved you."

"Ni. I Love you" I said and leaned in and kissed him. He kissed back quickly. The kiss was full of love.

"Hazz. Do you still cut?"

"No. I stopped when we became friends in 6th grade. You made me feel better about myself. I was happier with you."

"Do you..........um...."

"Niall, I want to be with you. I want us to get back together, but please dont hurt me again. I dont know what I will do."

"I promise, I wont hurt you."

"Will you be my boyfriend.....again?"

"Of course. Thats all I wanted."

We both leaned in at the same time. Our lips touched. Sparks fly. Nial had layed down taking me with him. I layed on top of him, kissing the living daylights out of him. We legs between his. His arms wrapped around my neck. My hands caressing his sides. I licked his bottom lips. He opened his mouth and I stuck my tongue into his mouth. I explored his mouth with my tongue. He sucked on my to[ngue making me moan. It was a passionate kiss.

Niall's POV

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're together again. I honestly love him so much. I dont know why I even cheated on him. I was bieng stupid. Harry is my life. I cant believe Hazza's dad would do that to him. He so lovable and cute. Might I mention that he is absolutely smoking hot. Im happy that hes mine again.

When we kissed, I felt like I was in heaven. Right now we're just cuddling. He so cuddly.

"I love you Haz."

"I love you too baby. Can you promise me that you will not cut again.... Because of me."

"I promise Hazzy but baby promise me if there's anything wrong you'll tell me and won't resort to cutting."

"I promise snowflake."

**********next day at school**********

At lunch Harry sat with us again. The boys knew that we were back together. Harry was happy to see the boys after 3 days. He was hesitant at first and I know he doesnt trust me. We were off to a slow start though. Harry didnt talk much due to the fact that he didnt feel comfortable around us anymore.

Marcel was giving me the hurt-him-again-and-watch-what-happens look. I know I won't do it again because i love him and need him in my life.

"So harry?"

"How is it going?"

"You ok bro?"

"I'm fine"

We fell into an awkward silence. No one knew what to say. Harry looked at me and game me a small smile the didnt quite reach his eyes. We leaned in and kissedd for a good minute before the boys started cooing at us. We we're happy again.


	13. Snowflake

Harry's POV

I'm happy to be back with Ni. I'm slowly starting to trust him again. Hopefully he won't do anything to ruin our relationship. I still don't feel comfortable around the boys yet. After all, it's only been a week. I'm not leaving Niall, all alone. He's capable of anything. He pouts when I don't talk to him. It's not my fault, or his fault. I love him. Really I do, but it's getting too much for me when I see his wrists. Scar after scar. Each lined up, side by side. All because of me. First it was because I bullied him. Then, it was because I didn't want give him a second chance. Because I didn't want to be with him. Because I didn't want to get hurt. Instead, he got hurt because of me. He broke me but I broke him even more.

My scars have faded away. There's something I've been keeping from Niall. The day we broke up. When he cheated on me, I went home and cut my thighs. He doesn't need to know. It's not like the cuts going to open up when he touches it.

"Hazzy" Niall whines.

"Yes baby."

"I wanna cuddle"

I layed down next to him on his bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I had my arm around him.

"Better babe?"

"Yes. Your so cuddly Haz"

He gives me a shy smile and leans up to peck my lips.

"So are you, snowflake"

" Im not a snowflake"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not"

"You are, love"

"No I'm not Harry"

"Yes you are babe. I love you"

"I love you too, cupcake"

"cupcake?"

"Well , you called me snowflake so I wanted to give you a pet name too." Niall blushed as he was telling me this.

"I love it babe." I lean down and place my lips on Niall. Our lips move together in a slow pace. I licked his bottom lips.I explore his mouth and bite his bottome lip. Hes laying beneath me and Im on top of him with my legs between his and my hands at his waist carresing his sides. I disconnect our lips and stare into his ocean blue eye.

"I love your eyes baby. They're beautiful"

"No they're not. They're dull and boring"

"It's not. Your eyes are so blue that I could get lost in them."

"Cheesy."

"I love everything about you."

"I love you too Haz"

He presses down on my legs and I feel something warm on my legs. I get up quickly and walk to the bathroom. After I close the door, I take off my pants and start bandaging my leg.   
I put everything away and put my jeans back on. As soon as I go back to my room, Niall looks at me like he knows I'm hiding something. I hope he didn't notice.

"Harry"

I know something's wrong. He always calls me Haz, or Hazzy.

"Yeah Ni" I asked nervously.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"You know exactly what I'm asking"

"Uh.... I-I-I d-d-don't know"

Oh god. What should I tell him? I can't just say 'oh you know that day when I caught you cheating, yeah I cut that day. I lied to you when I said I stopped cutting.' Yeah I'm not gonna say that to him. I don't want to make him feel bad.

"Harry. Come here babe"

I slowly walk over to him and sit down next to him. I don't look at him. I don't look at his eyes because I know Ill get lost in them.

"Babe, why'd you cut?"

"Because y-y-you ch-h- cheated on m-e-me."

"Haz I am truly sorry for what I did. I'm really sorry. I love you so much babe"

"I know Niall. I can't do this right now. I can't even look at you. You cut twice and I was the cause of it."

"Babe. I promised you that I'll stop cutting. I won't do anything. Please babe. "

" I know Ni. I'm really sorry that I was the reason you cut. I love you"

"Babe I cut because I wanted to relief myself. It wasn't because of you."

"Don't lie Niall. "

"I'm not baby."

I'll pretend to believe it. Come to think of it we have been fighting a lot since we've gotten back together.

"Babe let's stop fighting please"

"Yeah let's stop. I don't like fighting with you."

Niall's POV

I can't believe it. I actually caused him to cut again. We always fight now. We used to be a happy couple but things haven't been the same. We fight a lot. Harry won't talk to the boys. He won't even look me in the eyes anymore. Everything was perfect before I fucked up and gave him a reason to blame himself.

\--------- One Week Later ---------

It been a week since I found out about Harry cutting. A week since we had a fight. Only because he hasn't come over or he simply won't talk to me. We're taking a break because our relationship was anything but perfect. We fought 24/7. It wasn't cute anymore. We're still together but we just can't handle the fighting.


	14. 7th Heaven

3rd Person POV

Harry started distancing himself from Niall. He couldn't look at Niall- let alone talk to him. He was slipping into depression. Slowly but surely he started to cut again. The memories flooded back into his mind. The abuse, rape, and the bullies. He did what he  _thought_ would help him. He was losing.

Niall tried and tried to get Harry to talk to him but it would just end in a fight. He didn't know what happened to his  
Harry. The one he fell in love with. The happy Harry. What could he do? Harry wouldn't talk anymore. He would just stare at the ground like he was hiding something. No, Niall didn't know about Harry's depression. Harry didn't tell him.

No one knew about his depression. His friends had no clue. His brother couldn't get him to talk. His mum tried to make him happy but that smile was a masquerade. He started wearing more and more bracelets. His eyes dull.

Anne's POV **(bet you didn't see that coming and it's short)**

I can tell something's going on with Harry. It seems to be as if he's slipping back into depression. I tried to do everything to make him smile but I know he's only faking it.

"Harry, tell me what's wrong" I said as I sat down next to him in his room.

"Nothing mum."

"Harry. I know something's going on. Tell me what it is or I can bring Niall over to talk to you."

"Don't bring him. I just having all the bad memories coming back and Niall cheated on me. I forgave him but he cut because I wouldn't get back with him but were together. I don't want him to cheat on me again. I made him cut. Twice."

"Harry, you have to move on from your past. The memories will always be there. There's nothing that can make your bad past go away. Niall made a mistake and if he cut because you wouldn't take him back then that means he really loves you and wouldn't cheat on you again. I know it's hard baby. Don't shut us out again."

"Ok mum"

I could tell by his voice how hurt he was. How sad he was.

Harry's POV

Mummy's right but I can't get hurt again. I just can't. I know I should talk to Niall. Tell him what's really going on. He deserves to know.

I walk to Niall's house and knock. Niall opens the door. He looks surprised to see me.

"Hi Haz. What are you doing here?"

"Hi babe. I'm sorry."

"Come inside cupcake."

I walked in and sat down on his couch.

"Now tell me why your sorry."

"Because I've been a terrible boyfriend. I ignored you when I really needed you. I'm sorry"

"It's okay babe. I understand. Your not a terrible boyfriend. I love you babe."

"I love you too snowflake"

Our lips met in a passionate kiss. This time I ended up on the bottom. Our lips moving in a slow pace. It was a kiss full of love and.... lust. I snuck my tongue into his mouth, exploring every inch of it. He started sucking my tongue. A moan escapes from both of our lips.

"I need you Harry."

"mmhhmmm" I said against his lips. He grinds down on me, creating friction.

"Not down here, Hazzy. Bedroom"

I slowly pick him up since he is stradling my lap. I walk up stairs with his lips connected to mine. I enter the bedroom and put Niall down.

**Smut. Innocent minds don't read this (!)**

"I want you now" he whispers, I smile taking his face in my hands smashing my face onto his lips I hold his back and starting walking to his bed, we fall back onto his bed so I am on top of him kissing him roughly, he runs his fingers under my shirt pulling it over my head, I rip his shirt off discarding it, then we take our pants off until we're in nothing but our boxers. I start rubbing myself against him biting his neck, sucking harshly, Niall moans running his fingers through hair. He pushes me back climbing on my hooking his fingers on my boxers slowly pulling them down.

"Fuck Niall.... Stop teasing" I moan, biting my lip. He takes my boxers off and the air hits my groin I bite my lip, throwing my head back.

"You're so big Harry" Niall says.

"Fuck Niall, go" I moan, he starts stroking me slowly I buck my hips and he takes me into his mouth bobbing slowly I bite my lip, running my fingers through his hair guiding how fast I want him to go. "F-Fuck...Fuck yes Niall... I'm about too...." I moan, and then I buck forwards letting it out Niall sits up.

"I need you now Harry" he whimpers, I get on my knee's getting up and getting the lube from my pants and a condom I climb back on the bed.

"All fours" I say, he pulls his boxers off getting on his all fours. I pour a generous amount of lube on my fingers then circle his hole; I enter my first finger going slowly.

"H-Harry...." He moans, I go faster and then enter my second finger and scissor him he moans louder bucking backwards trying to ride my fingers, Niall leans down biting his pillow I enter a 3rd finger and he moans louder, nearly screaming. "Fuck Harry.... Fuck Harry enter me please I want you inside me!" Niall moans, I pull my fingers out and I put my condom on, lubing up then lining up. I push into him slowly holding his waist going slowly, and then I slam into him hard.

"Harry!" he yells.

"Fuck Niall" I moan, thrusting deeper in him digging my nails into his hips thrusting slowly into him.

"Harry... oh god..." he moans.

"You're so tight" I moan, closing my eyes

"I-I want to ride you" Niall says, I moan in response pulling out and moving lying back resting my head on the pillow Niall climbs onto my lap lining himself off he slides down biting his lip. I grab his hips moving him I arch my back closing my eyes, as he bounces on me.

"F-Fuck.... Right there right there" I moan.

"Harry I... I can't..." Niall moans, I open my eyes looking at him flushed his head back, his eyes closed his hands on my chest and he bounces I grab his member running my thumb over the head, he moans as I stroke him. "Don't I can't.... Fuck.... Harry... I can't" he moans, I'm close and I can tell he's close.

"I'm almost there..." I moan.

"M-Me too" he moans, I grabs his hips slamming up into him and he moans releasing on my chest and I release into the condom he slumps on top of me breathing heavily. I pull out of him and he withers, I close my eyes.

"That was amazing" I whisper.

"Yeah..." Niall says; I take the condom off throwing it on the floor breathing heavily I pull the covers over Niall and I, I pull him into me spooning him inhaling his scent kissing his neck.

**Innocent minds can read now.**

"I love you forever and always"

"I love you too baby forever and always."

"Next time when something's bothering. Talk to me. Don't shut me out."

"I'll talk to you snowflake. God, I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too. I thought you were going to break up with me. "

"I wouldn't dream of breaking up with you."

"You wouldn't?"

"No. I love you baby."

"I love you too."


	15. He's My Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont want him to leave me. I cant live with out him. I dont want him to hate me.

Niall's POV

**A WEEK LATER**

I've been having really bad morning sickness for a week now. I throw up my dinner every morning and I feel really tired. My mum told me to go to the hospital and get a check-up. I didn't have to wait that long for my turn.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Grace. I will be your doctor for today."

"Hi, my names Niall."

We went to the checkup room first. She took my blood sample and she checked my heart rate and stuff like that. A few minutes later, Dr.Grace took me to another room. She instructed me to lie down on an examination table. she told me to pull up my shirt so that my belly was showing. Also, she applied a special gel to my abdominal and pelvic area. This gel was really cold.

Next, the doctor placed a transducer, onto my belly. Se then moved the transducer around and black and white images popped up onto the screen. she asked me to hold my breath while capturing images.

"Niall, this is very rare. It only happens to a few males. Your pregnant"

OH MY FUCK. NO. Harry's gonna hate me. I can't have this baby. But I want to.

"Uhh. How's that possible?"

"Well, you see, you were born with female organs so you are able to reproduce."

"Ok."

"Here are some medications you have to take to help with the morning sickness. You have to take a pill in the morning"

"Ok. Thanks for you time, doc"

"Congratulations. Oh and tell the other father. If you want an abortion, tell me before your 12th week."

"ok I will. Whens my next appointment?"

" Next month. "

*****AT HOME*****

As soon as I stepped into the house, I started looking for my mum. If she knew I had female organs then she should've told me.

"What did the doctor say, Niall?"

"She told me that I uhh... Umm... Am pregnant"

"Oh. I should've told you. Are you going to keep the baby?"

"I don't know. I have to ask Harry. If you had known, you could've told me. Harry's gonna think that I'm a freak."

"Harry will not think that. You go over to his house right now and tell him."

"I can't mum. I don't want him to hate me. I can't deal with that!" A few tears streamed down my face.

I run up to my room, and start crying even more. I can't loose my Harry. I won't be happy, if he leaves me because I'm a freak. I wish I had know and I wouldn't have had sex with him. I would've waited until we graduated from school.

I decided to text Marc.

 **Marc,**   **can I tell you something?**

_Yeah, you can trust me with your secret Ni._

**Can you come over? I'll tell you face to face. Don't tell Harry please**

_Ok. I'm on my way. This must be pretty serious, if your not telling Harry first._

Five minutes later, and Marcel is in my room. I am a sobbing mess.

"Ni, tell me what's wrong?"

"I went to the doctors today because I was having really bad m-morning sickness and ...."

I just couldn't stop crying. I can't lose Harry. I just can't.

"And what Niall."

"She said that I was b-born with female organs, and that I'm p-p-pregnant."

"Oh, Niall. That's good. Harry has always wanted kids."

"No it's not. What if I tell Harry and he leaves me? What if he bullys me again?"

"Is that why you are crying Niall? Because you don't trust Harry?"

"I do trust him"

"Ni, he will not leave you because of the baby. He definitely will not bully you. He loves you. Everytime he talks about you, he gets so happy. He's never been this happy. YOU make him happy."

"Thanks Marc. Don't tell Harry, please. I'll tell him myself."

"No problem, Ni. Do tell him soon before it's too late."

"I will"

I give Marcel a hug before he leaves.As soon as Marcel is out the door, I walk over to my window and sit down on the bench. Its where I do my reading and homework and my thinkng. I hope Harry doesnt hate me after this. Im thinking about not telling him and keeping my distance, I dont want to do that. What if he thinks, I'm cheating on him again. I look out my window and see Harry in his room. He looks really upset. When he sees me, he smiles a little but I can tell its fake. I wonder what's that about, I open my window and so does he.

"Babe, you okay?" I aks him.

"Yeah, snowflake. Im okay. How are you?"

"Im good. Haz. I ummm..uhhh. nevermind."

"Babe, whats botherig you?"

"Im p... I miss you Haz. Come over please."

"I miss you too. I'll be over in a sec"

A minute later, Harry is walking in to my room. I run to him and give him a Horan Hug. When I let go, Harry pouts. I press my lips to his which soon turns into a heated kiss. He pulls away first.

"Babe, I know theres something going on. Everytime I came over this week, you were sleeping. Maura told me that youve been throwing up alot. Whats wrong?"

"I cant tell you Harry"

"Oh so you can tell Marcel, but not me."

"Its not like that, Haz."

"Then what is it Niall?"

Before I can say something, I am rushing to the bathroom. I throw up into the toilet. Harry is sitting next to me rubbing my back. I rinse my mouth before sitting down next to Haz.

"Babe,Please tell me."

"Can we go back to my room? Ill tell you then."

"Okay snowflake."

Haz helps me get up and we walk quitely to my room. I go to lay down on my bed, hoping Harry would get the hint and join me. He cuddled me.

"So?"

"Oh. I-i-i a-a-am P-p-pregnant."

Harry doesnt say anything for what seems like an eternity but is only a minute. I cant tell what hes thinking. His face doesnt tell me anything.

"Dont hate me, Haz. I didnt know I could get pregnant. If you want, I'll get an abortion. Please dont leave me Haz. I love you.." By now, I start crying becuase the thought of him not wanting me makes me sad.

"Babe. Calm down. How can you get pregnant? Your a guy."

"I have f-f-female p-p-parts in my body."

"Niall, baby. Dont cry. I could never hate you over a small matter like this. Im not leaving you because your pregnant. Tell me do you want this baby?"

"I do. If you dont want it, then ill get an a-.."

"No, I want this baby just as much as you. You are not gonna get an abortion." Harry interupts me.

"You dont hate me?"

"No, baby. I already told you. I love you. Is this why you didnt want to tell me? Because you think that I'll leave you and hate you?"

"Yes"

"Baby, I love you so much. No one can change that. Your my everything."

"I love you too."

Harrys POV

Im really upset that Niall decided not to tell me about the baby. I know something was up when Marc went to Nialls house. When he came back, he looked happy and upset. He told me that Niall was feeling sad, and needed someone to talk to. I was upset that he didnt tell me and chose to talk to Marcel over me. I didnt think it was something as serious as bieng pregnant. When Niall told me he was pregnant, I was so happy. But when he started crying and asking me to not leave him and to not hate him, thats when I became upset. I wouldn't leave him or hate him because he can get pregnant. Hes my boyfriend and I love him very much. Im staying with him through this pregnacy.

"Baby, when's your next appointment?"

"Next month. Harry can you stay over tonight please?"

"Sure babe and I'm going with you to you next appointment."

"Ok. Can we just cuddle and sleep?"

"Yes babe. Get some rest. You look very tired."

"Dont leave me"

"Sweetheart, Ill be here when you wake up. Now get some sleep" I lean down and peck his lips but he decides to make it a full on snog.

"Babe, sleep. now"

"Ok" He is really cute and I want to keep him forever. He lights up my world like nobody else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its crappy
> 
> Narry5Eva_


	16. Mood Swings

Harry's POV

It has been a month into Niall's pregnancy. He's throwing up a lot and he's getting mood swings. He also has weird food cravings. One time he made me go out at 1 in the morning to get him peanut butter with ice cream. Also, we have had another ultrasound.

We haven't told the boys yet. Only Marc. Niall said he wasn't ready to tell them. I think Marc might have told Zayn but I'm not too sure. I truly am happy that Niall can get pregnant because that means we don't have to adopt if we do get married. I hope we do.

"Babe, where are you going?"

"I'm going home snowflake."

Here comes the mood swings

"No, you can't. Y-y-you said you-u w-w-wouldn't l-l-leave m-me."

"Baby Im not leaving you. I live across from you. I haven't talked to mum that much since you got pregnant babe."

"You don't love me anymore"

"Oh babe. C'mere"

I open my arms and Niall slowly walks towards me. I envelop him into a hug and kiss his neck. I pull back and look at his beautiful face. He looks down at his shoes when I pull away from he hug, so I grab his chin and make him look up. He has tears steaming down his face. I wipe away his tears with my thumbs and lean down and kiss him.

"Baby, I love you. Why do you keep thinking that I don't love you?"

"I don't want you to leave Haz. What if you decide you don't love me anymore? What if you don't want a freak like me?"

"Baby, I don't love anyone but you. Your not a freak, love. If I was going to leave you, I would've left a month ago but that would be the biggest mistake I would make. I'm not going to leave you ever. I love you baby."

"You mean that? I love you Hazza"

"Yes I mean it babe. Love you so much."

I kiss Niall and move my lips against his. I bite on his bottom lip and then swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. He let's out a moan. After sucking on his tongue and bottom lip, I pull away.

"Babe you wanna come with me? We can go up to my room and take a nap while we cuddle."

"Ok, cupcake. Lemme ask mum."

He left to ask his mum.

Niall always gets like this when I talk about leaving and he clings to me at school. We have some classes together but not a lot. School is almost over. We only have a week left of school. We don't have to go if we don't want to. Our friends said that they're not going to be there so we stay at home.

I wanted to bring up the topic of telling the boys and my mum but Niall wouldn't let me. He would get mad at me and say it's my fault that he's a 'freak'. It hurts because I realized that he blames me for all of this.

*****At My House*****

We went up to my room and cuddled. I was really sleepy so I instantly fell asleep. I woke up to Niall kissing my lips.

"Babe?"

"Yeah Hazz"

"Do you want tell the boys and my mum?"

Now comes the mood swings

"No."

"Why not babe? Can we at least tell my mum?"

"No. They'll think I'm a freak. You made me his freak Harry."

Now I'm mad. I don't care if it's his mood swing.

"What the fuck? I didn't give birth to you. If I knew that you could get pregnant, I wouldn't have had sex with you, unless we were married. Your the one with a reproductive system so don't blame your shit on me."

"Is that it? You blame me for not telling you that I could get pregnant. You wouldn't have sex with me if you knew I was a freak"

"No. I don't fucking blame you. You didn't know. I never said you were a freak. Why do you keep implying that I'm calling you a freak?"

"Because I'm gay and pregnant. You got me pregnant."

"Fine Niall. Why didn't you get an abortion if you didn't want this baby"

"I do want the baby. It's you who I don't want. Do you know I don't regret cheating on you?"

"Fuck you Niall. You can go back to your house. This is the second time you hurt me. I'm done"

I get up and leave my room and house. I go back to that lake where I went when Niall cheated on me. He finally said it. He finally broke me. I would've cut but I didnt because he was there. I wonder what it's like to drown or swallow a ton of pills.

Niall's POV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I just say that? I finally did it. I freaking hurt him again. Ugh. I hope were still together. It was my mood swings. I don't have any control over it. He hadn't take his phone with him so I couldn't call him. I don't even know where he went. I wish I hadn't said that to him.

I told Marcel what had happened and he said that he was upset that I said that to him but he knows I was having freaking mood swings. I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I waited in Harry's room until he came back.

"Haz I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said."

"Are you sure? That's what you told me last time. That you didn't mean to cheat on me. That you forgave me for bullying you. That you wanted me back"

"I'm sure Hazzy. I didn't mean anything I said. Please don't leave me. I love you."

"All I wanted was for you to tell my mum, but no. You made it into a big deal. I know it was your mood swings. But if your gonna say shit like that to me when your mad then we might as well not be together."

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? We can tell your mum. Ok."

"I didn't ask for an apology. You know what? I can't deal with this right now. We'll talk tomorrow. I'm going to sleep."

"No Harry. Your not going to FÜÇKÏŃG sleep. Were gonna talk about this until you forgive me."

"I forgive you. Ok? Now I just want some time alone."

"You didn't mean it. You don't forgive me. Your only saying it so I'll leave you alone. You know Harry, I am serious. I didn't mean anything I said."

"I do forgive you! I just want some time alone to think. Alright? I'm not breaking up with you. I just need some time."

"Ok Haz. I love you" I lean up and kiss him. He didn't kiss back. It hurt but I deserved it.

"I love you too, baby. I forgive you but please don't say anything like that again."

"I won't Hazz"

***Next Day****

I called Haz on his cellphone. I asked him if I could come over. I needed to talk to him about something.

I take the short walk to his house and walk in because the door is always open and I'm the only one who goes over to their house all the time. I go up to Harry's room and tackle him into a hug.

"Your in a good mood today."

"I want to to tell your mum."

"Are you sure? I don't want a repeat of yesterday "

"I'm sure Haz."

"Ok then let's go tell her Niall."

We walk down, hand in hand. Anne is sitting in the living room watching tv. We sit down next to her.

"Anne, we need to tell you something."

"Oh hi Niall. What do you need to tell me honey?"

"Mum, ummm Niall's pregnant."

Anne stayed quiet for the longest time. I gave Harry a worried look.

"Mum?"

"Congratulations you guys. I'm gone be a grandmother."

"I thought you would think that I'm a freak."

"Niall. Your not a freak. It's a miracle. How far into the pregnancy are you?"

"A month"

"Harry. Why didn't you tell me until now?"

"It's not his fault Anne. I told him not to tell anyone and we sorta had a fight over it yesterday."

Harry squeezed my hand.

"Oh Harry. I heard you guys fighting. You guys were pretty loud."

I blushed at that because I was so embarrassed.

"Did you tell the boys yet?"

"Funny you should know. Marcel was the first to know."

"Why Marc?"

"I was afraid Harry was gonna leave me for someone who's not a freak."

"Oh Ni. Haz might have done bad things in the past but he really loves you. You're not a freak."

"Not like we didn't have a fight about it yesterday." Harry mumbles.

"I know now. I brought a cd of my ultrasound." I hand her the cd and Anne seems so happy.

Maybe Harry was right. Anne doesn't think I'm a freak so maybe I can tell the boys. They wouldn't judge me.


	17. Confessions

Nialls POV

Ok so telling Anne was the best thing I did. She didn't seem to think that I was a freak. Why would she? After all, she's gonna be a grandmother.

I want to tell the boys. I really do but it's just that I'm scared of rejection. Being gay is not that big of a deal but when a guy has a human growing inside him, it is a big fucking deal. What if they turn into the old Harry? I know I should get over what old Harry did, but I can't. I do love Harry but I'm scared. Scared of hurting him to the point where he doesn't want to be with me. If I do hurt him, he's never going to talk to me. He would help me with the baby but he wouldn't be willing to actually be with me. I can't lose him and I can't lose my friends. If I lose my friends, I'll probably end up blaming Harry for getting me pregnant and the last time I did that, he almost broke up with me.I dont need that happening again. It would literally crush me. I know he would still be there for the baby. I would probably start cutting again and Harry would probably hate me even more for doing that. Especially now that I have another human growing inside of me.

I've decide to tell the boys about the baby. Since we have to go for a checkup soon to find out the gender of that baby. I hope it's a boy because me and Harry don't know shit about girls. Actually we do but it would be weird if we have to give her the talk.

**** After Ultrasound*** (Not revealing the gender yet)

It has been 3 months since the pregnancy started. Turns out we're having twins. Worrying about one baby is enough work but theres 2 now. Harry was over the moon when he found out that we were having twins. After the ultrasound, as soon as we reached my room, Harrys mouth was on mine. The kiss got pretty heated. It went as far as him taking me shirt off and leaving love bites. I was a moaning mess undeneath him. He then started kissing down my chest until he got to my stomach.

"I love you two so much. Your daddy and I cant wait till both of you are here in our arms." He placed one last kiss on my tummy before moving back up and giving me a kiss on the lips. "I love you, babe"

"I love you too Hazzy"

Haz and I just laid there cuddling. I wanted to ask him if we should tell the boys. he didnt pester me much after we told his mum.

"Hazzy?"

"yeah babe"

"Should we.... c-can we tell the boys?"

"Do you want to, love?"

"Yeah. Its been a few months and the baby is growing and you can see the bump forming. Its about time they found out."

"Ok babe. We can call them over for dinner and tell them."

"Yeah ok."

"Now, get your lazy arse up and go call them. Ill make dinner."

To: LOUBEAR   
Come over for dinner tonight?

From: LOUBEAR   
Yeah sure. Do you want me tell the others?

To: LOUBEAR   
Yeah thanks Lou.

From: LOUBEAR   
No problem, see you later Ni

After my mini text session, I went to the kitchen because right now I was really craving vanilla ice cream with peanut butter and whipped cream. Instead of getting my latest craving, I went over to Harry and hugged from behind. Resting my head on his shoulder. I place a kiss on his collarbone.

"The boys will be here soon"

"Mmhmm"

"I love you Haz"

"I love you too baby"

"Bet you love the baby more"

"No. I love you both equally."

Harry placed a quick kiss to my cheek before going back to cooking dinner. I had forget about the craved food and went to take a shower. Once I was done, I put on my black skinny jeans with a tank top and a shirt on top.   
The boys didn't show up until 7. I wanted to tell them right after dinner so they could at least eat before they decided to leave CUZ their friend is a freak. I didn't mention this to Harry. He would've lectured me till the day I gave birth. He doesn't let me think about these things. That's one thing I love about him. I'm so lucky to have him.

After dinner was served and fully devoured, we went into my living room. I was so nervous but my friends deserved to know. Marcel already knew so he gave me genuine smile putting me at ease. Harry comes up and stands next to me.

"We have to tell you guys something. Just don't judge us."

"What is it? We won't judge you"

"Ummm. I-I'm p-p-pregnant"

Liam and Louis didn't say anything for a few minutes. Zayn, however, comes up and gives me a hug. I'm glad at least 2 of my friends accept me. Louis and Liam then decide to hug me as well.

"We're gonna be uncles"


	18. Secret and Mood Swings

Third person

Around 4 months into the pregnancy, Niall started having mood swing every second. He and Harry would end up fighting. Sure they fought before, but now there fights were getting worse. Harry wouldnt talk to Niall for days because he couldnt even stand seeing his pregnant boyfriend. The shorter lad would always bring up the bullying and always say how he regrets dating Harry. It got to the point where Harry just left. He would ignore Nialls calls and his cries. He was completely done. He didnt want to live. His so called lover hated him. Yeah, he knew that it was because of the pregnancy but that dosnt mean that it hurt any less.Harry would still go and see Niall and make sure he was perfectly fine. He would go there to make sure the baby was ok. He wasn't going to go and do something drastic like kill himself. He needed to be alive for the baby and for Niall. Sure the mood swings were starting to bring the taller lad down but it wasn't hurting the blonde any less.

Niall knew what he was saying was hurting his boyfriend, but he had no control over it. He wanted so badly to be able to not bring out his anger on Harry, but he couldn't help it. He so badly wanted to cuddle with Harry but as the mood swings got worse and his words got more hurtful, his boyfriend started to push him away. He knew that his boyfriend had a terrible past and that he didn't take the blame so well. He would try to apologize to Harry, but the taller lad just wanted some space and time. 5 months into the pregnancy and everything was taking a turn for the worse. Niall and Harry couldnt stand to be around each other. There fights would lead Harry to cut himself. Why? Because his lover wasnt letting go of the past. He wasnt emotionally prepared for this situation. He was bringing up Harrys mistake and turning his own mistake into something he thought he wanted.

The fights started leading to the point where Niall would sometimes get physical with his boyfriend. Weather it was a slap to the cheek or a punch to his stomach, Harry stayed. He didnt want this. He was prepared to leave Niall and let him to deal with the baby by himself, but he didnt have the heart to do it. Harry started staying away from Niall as much as possible. He would only go over to see if he was okay but other then that, there was no contact between the two. At this point, rest of their group caught up with what was going on around them. Harry would stay from everyone as much as possible. No words were being said to the boys. All because he was scared of him boyfriend(?). Instead, Marcel talks to Niall, but he doesnt want Marc.He wants harry but Haz doesnt want to see him.

Nobody knows that Harry was slowly slipping into depression because his boyfriend was not only hurting him mentally but physically too. No one saw. Everyone was always around Nialls, taking care of the very pregnant boy. They didnt see anything behind the scene. You see, Harrys smile was so fake but it seemed so real. So realistic that everyone thought the older of the twins was slowly slipping away from them. Niall didnt know either. Harry was that good. Anyone would see Harry and think "That curly haired boy is always reeking with happiness". If only they knew. If only his mum and brother knew.

******************************

While Harry was slowly slipping away into a void, his mum and brother were keeping a secret. The twins dad was back. Only this time to hurt Harry more than ever. His mum didnt want to take Harry's happiness from him. She didnt want to ruin what her son now has. If only she knew. Everyone knew about Harrys dad being back in town. Everyone but Niall and Harry. If only she knew that her son was so close to breaking, so close to falling over the edge of the cliff.

Harry would always get lost in though. He would never leave his room nowadays. He was scared of Niall. He was scared of his past catching up to him. He was so scared that he wasn't noticing the things around him. He wouldn't go with Niall to his pregnancy checkup. He missed so much. Niall missed his baby so much but he knew that he was only hurting him. He would cry himself to sleep. Sure everybody cared about him but they're not Harry. His Harry wasn't with him. His Harry would've care no matter what.

Anne's POV

That old man is back but this time only to hurt Harry more. I don't know how to tell Harry. I need to let him know. Make him aware that his abusive father is back. I don't want to bring his depression back. I don't want to lose my son. What if this drives him to the point where he thinks that suicide is the only answer? Its really scary. I'm scared for him. I just don't want to lose my baby. If he kills himself then I'll only have Marcel left. I love Marcel but he's never had to deal with depression, which I'm really thankful for. Harry, we'll be had to deal with a lot. He doesn't take bad news well.

I just need tell him. I should just tell him so he is prepared. I go upstairs and knock on the door.

"Come in" I entered his room and sat down at the end of his bed.

"Harry, I need to tell you something important"

"Yeah"

"It's about your dad"

"W-what about h-him?"

"He's back. He called me two weeks and he threatened to kill you."

"O-oh" That's all he said before he went back to his original position. Staring at the ceiling. I couldn't tell what was going on with him. He just laid there with no expression. I decided to give him some time to process this so I left his room, closing the door behind me.   
I left him in his room not knowing what he was thinking and what he was about to do.

Harrys POV

Do you ever just want to end it all? Give up everything because because you don't want your life anymore. You don't choose to stay alive, you need to. Not for yourself but for others. You force yourself to live everyday for the happiness of others. Do you ever just feel like people personally put you through hell to get show out it? That they do it, to make themselves feel better?

I don't know when Niall started getting abusive. I don't know why he started getting abusive. His words were enough to do the damage but the punches were enough to drive me over the edge. I wanted to cut so deep it I couldn't because I need to be here for the baby and Niall, even if he hates me. Even if he doesn't regret cheating on me. I haven't seen him in less than a month. I've barely even left my house let alone my room. I've been eating less and crying more. I've gone back to cutting ever since the beatings. So much for being 3 months clean.

Now my mother has dropped this news on me. I just laid on my bed with no emotion on my face. My mum left my room without even saying anything. I guess she doesn't care. Oh well, she won't have to worry about me after today. I'm going to end it before my so called father does. I know I can't leave Niall or the baby but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I just can't go through with living anymore. I just hate myself because Niall made me. I hate myself because my dad almost raped me. I hate myself because I let people get to me.

I get up and run to the attached bathroom. I take me razor blade and a bottle of pills before taking pulling up my long sleeves. I make 10 cuts before i cut way too deep. Then I take a couple of pills and swallow them. I sit down against the wall, starting to feel dizzy. My vision blurs and before I completely pass out, I hear someone yelling my name.

"HARRY! "


	19. Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Anne's POV

I shouldn't have left Harry alone. I shouldn't have told him the bad news. What I saw ,when I went back upstairs to check on Harry, literally stopped my heart. He had done it. He was still breathing. I called Marcel over to his brothers room. I told to call 999 and to get an ambulance here fast. He was going to ask me a question but I told him to get on with it before he loses his brother. About 10 minutes later the ambulance showed up. Harry was still breathing but only a little bit. They got him on the gurney and drove off but not before asking us a couple of questions.

"Marc."

"Yes mum"

"Can you go and tell Maura and Niall about Harry?"

"I will but what happened?"

"He attempted suicide"

"Oh my- I have to tell Niall"

"Just let it on him easy. He's very moody as of lately."

"Of course Mum"

I get in my car and drive off in the direction of the hospital.

Marcel's POV

HARRY FUCKING COMMITTED SUICIDE. I am so close to losing my only brother. I'm so scared and sad that I'm so close to losing Harry. I feel bad because I have to tell Niall that his lover is in the hospital. I don't want anything to happen to his baby or him. I need to tell Maura first. I walk over to Niall's house with tears streaming down my face, before knocking on the door very loudly. Niall's mum opens the door. As soon as she sees my tear strained face, she ushers me into her house. I sit down on the couch and immediately put my head in my hands. How do I tell her? Without breaking out into tears.

"Marcel, honey what's wrong?"

"I-I-it's H-h-harry"

"What about Harry?"

"H-he C-committed S-s-suicide"

"Oh dear lord. Is he okay now?"

"T-they t-t-took h-him t-to the h-hospital"

"How are you going to tell Niall?"

"I-i can't. I just want my brother back" I said before a pool of tears race down my face.

"He's going to be ok. How about I tell Niall and you can go see your brother?"

"Can you please?"

"Yeah. He needs to find out from someone whose not breaking down right now. He's not dealing with his mood swings correctly"

"Thanks Maura"

"No problem and call me when Harry is out of the emergency room"

"I will"

I quickly get up and walk to my house. I go upstairs to Harrys room to get my phone. Going into that bathroom is what is scaring me right now. I saw the pool of blood. If we hadn't caught him on time then he would be dead right now.

I walk out of his room and dial Zayn's number. He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey baby"

"H-Hi Z-Zayn"

"Babe what's wrong?"

"C-c-can y-you take m-me to t-the h-h-hospital?"

"Why Marc? Did you hurt yourself?"

"C-can you please t-take me? I'll t-tell y-you w-when w-we get there"

"Oh baby calm down. I'm coming."

I wait for Z outside for about 10 minutes before he finally shows up. I get in the passenger seat and Zayn drives off to the hospital. He gives a worried look when we finally get there. I tell him that I'm fine in my very shaky voice. We walk into the hospital hand-in-hand. I just really need Z right now. He's the only one who can help me get through this. We walk up to the reception and ask for Harry. They tell me that he is still in the emergency room. Me and Zayn almost run to the emergency room. Once we got there, I found my mum sitting in those uncomfortable chairs with her eyes shut.

Zayn pulls me into his arms and holds me.

"Babe, will you please tell me what's wrong?"

"H-harry c-committed s-suicide"

"What? Why? Haz wouldn't do that to himself. Please tell me your lying Marc."

"I-I'm n-not Zaynie."

"Did you tell Niall?"

"N-no Z. I t-told Maura and you."

"It'll be okay, babe. He will be ok"

"C-can y-you t-tell Li and Lou? P-please"

"Yeah babe. I'll text them to come over right away"

Niall's POV

I was sitting by the window sill ( **picture on side)** thinking about how I've been treating Harry. It wasn't always the mood swings. Sometimes I actually meant those things. We drifted apart and now look. I can't stand the fact that he purposely ignores me. If I was him, then I would to. He does come and check if the baby is ok, but he leaves right after we talk about the baby. I'm the reason he's not as happy anymore. I'm the reason for his pain.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear my mother come in. She sat opposite of me and I could tell that she had some bad news for me. I already know about Harry's dad being back and I didn't tell him. I don't need to add more to his plate then I already have.

"Ni. I need to tell you something and you're not going to like it"

"What is it?"

"Harry. He um I don't know how to say this"

"What happened to Harry Ma?" I was starting to get scared.

"He uh committed suicide. He's at the hospital right now."

"w-what?" I said feeling defeated and alone. "I-is he ok n-now?"

The tears were strolling down my face. It was like my world had stopped for a millisecond. He left. He broke. I broke him. It was my fault that he's fighting between life and death. If only I had stopped with the abuse.

"I dont know love. Marcel told me but he hasnt gotten any news on Harry"

"Can we go?"

"yeah baby. We can go"

******skip car ride to hospital******

When we got to the hospital, I quickly got out of the car. I was in a rush to my Hazzy. I need him to be alive. I cant have him leave us. I need him like I need air. We rushed inside and walked straight into Zayn. He walked us to where Harry was. He was out of the emergency room and into his own room with mutiple tubes attached to his arms and hands. He looked pale.

"He just came out of surgery. Dont know when he will be awake." I heard Anne say from acroos the room. She looked tired and wornout. Marcel was silently crying outside. He could stand the sight in front of him.

"W-why did h-he" I could even finish my sentence. I was shaking so much. The love of my life was here because of me.

"I told him about his dad being back. He didnt take it well"

I know that I was also the cause of this. The reason why he decided to end it all. Our relationship was cute at first but after I cheated, he just wasnt as close to me. It was a rocky road that I pushed him off of. I pushed him so far to this moment. If only I had stopped before it got out of hand.

What if he doesnt want me anymore? What if he's too scared of me? What if he's only with me because of this baby?

I try to push the thoughts to the back of my head. I sit down in the chair next to Harry's bed. I place my hand on top his being careful of the wires attached to his arms. I just want to see those beautiful emerald green eyes. I just want him.

Ive been sitting in this chair for almost an hour and Harry still hasnt woken up. Liam and Louis came in 5 minutes ago. We're all just waiting for Haz to wake up. I knows he's better now because hes not in a coma. He's not fighting between life and death. The room is so quiet. Theres not tension in the air. Its not an uncomfortable silence, yet its not a comfortable one wither. We're all just worried about Harry. They dont know that im part of the reason he relapsed. Hell they dont even know that he used to cut. Im such a horrible human being. I literally pushed him to cut.

"W-where..." I heard a deep voice that was raspy from not being used as much. I immediately stood up and walked over to him.

"Hazza, Do you want some water?" Marc asks. Harry replies with a nod. After he gulps down the glass of water, he looks around the room looking terrified. Was he terrified that he was still alive or because that everyone found out his dirty secret.

"Why am I here?"

"You tried to kill yourself, Haz" liam answered. He was the strong one out of all of us.

"No, I mean why did you save me mum? Why didn't you just let me die? Do you want to see me be killed by my father? The same father who tried to rape me when I was little"

Liam, Louis, Zayn and Marcel looked shocked by the new information they had learned. We all know about his dad wanting to kill him but only me and Anne knew about the almost rape incident.

"No Har..."

"I just want to be alone" Harry interrupted

Anne sighed and left. Eventually one by one everyone left. I was still here.

"Haz.."

"What d-do y-you w-want?" He sniffles

"I'm sorry, babe."

"Why? It's not your fault that everyone hates me. Not your fault that I'm a ugly faggot who got you pregnant. Not your fault that the person I love with all my heart hates me. Not your fault that I'm worthless and a waste of space"

"H-harry I am sorry about everything I said and did to you. I'm so sorry. I love you."

"Yeah whatever. I just don't want to be alive. My own father wants me dead so I'm giving him what he wants. You don't need me. The twins don't need me. Nobody needs me."

"Hazzy please. Me and the twins need you more than ever. I don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry." The tears were streaming down my face. He wanted to die.

"You don't get it, do you? I. Don't. Want. This. I hate myself. Even you hate me. You just won't admit it."

"I don't hate you Harry. Don't you get it? I love you so fucking much."

I didn't get an answer from him. It's official, I lost him. He can pretend to not listen to me but I know he is. I start singing the song I wrote for him when he started losing that beautiful smile of his and the sparkle in his emerald green eyes.

_Counted all my mistakes and there's only one_

_Standing up on a list of the things I've done_

_All the rest of my crimes don't come close_

_To the look on your face when I let you go_

_So I built you a house from a broken home_

_Then I wrote you a song with the words you spoke_

_Yeah, it took me some time but I figured out_

_How to fix up a heart that I let down_

_Now I'm searching every lonely place_

_Every corner calling out your name_

_Trying to find you but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Yeah the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue_

_It's at the top of the list of the things I want_

_Mind is running in circles of you and me_

_Anyone in between is the enemy_

_Shadows come with the pain that you're running from_

_Love was something you never heard enough_

_Yeah, it took me some time but I figured out_

_How to fix up a heart that I let down_

_Now I'm searching every lonely place_

_Every corner calling out your name_

_Trying to find you but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Are you sleeping baby by yourself?_

_Or are you giving it to someone else?_

_Trying to find you but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Tell me now, tell me now_

_Tell me where you're going_

_You feel afraid?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Tell me now, tell me now_

_Tell me will you ever love me again?_

_Love me again?_

_Now I'm searching every lonely place_

_Every corner calling out your name_

_Trying to find you but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Are you sleeping baby by yourself?_

_Or are you giving it to someone else?_

_Trying to find you but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Tell me where you're hiding now?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Come on baby, cause I need you now_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Tell me, cause I'm breaking down_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Come on baby, come and get me out_

_Come on baby, come and get me out_

_Come on baby, cause I need you now_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

Once I finish singing, Harry turns around in his hospital bed and looks up at me. His once dull eyes are slowly getting their shine back. He manages to give me a small smile before asking for a kiss. I lean down and press my lips to his. He still has tears rolling down his cheeks. I dont know weather he's crying because of the song or our little fight. I really do love him and I hope he realizes that.


	20. Fake Smiles and Little Things

Harrys POV

I honestly don't want to be alive. I don't know why everyone is pretending to care. I don't know why my mother couldn't just let me did. I wonder why Niall is being nice to me now. Just a day ago, he hated me.

Next time, I try to commit, I need to do it when no one is home. I wish I wasn't here because it hurts. It hurts so fucking much. It hurts to know that the person I love is only faking it for the sake of our babies. It hurts to know that my own father wants me dead. I don't even know why he hates me. why can't he just leave me alone. I just want to be happy but, I guess nobody else wants me to be. They like seeing me sad and feel worthless. I'm just a worthless nobody.

They had to keep me in the hospital for a couple of days just to see if there was anything else wrong with me besides depression. Turns out I also have anorexia. Well it's quite obvious because I weight 35 pounds less then I used to. I'm supposed to be at 145 but I actually weigh 110. I skipped meals and spend my time in my room mostly. We don't have family dinner. We just basically get our food when ever we are hungry.

Dr. Shelly decided that it would be best if I went to therapy. Twice a week for how ever long it takes me to heal. I did whine a bit at the thought of leaving the safety of my house. But I guess I was more safe in an ally then I would be at my own house. Also, Dr. Shelly prescribed me depression pill. I had to take 1 pill a day.

At one point, I just stopped talking to everyone because it was too much. I don't need help. I'm fine. If I get help then I might not be able to feel that rush of relief when I cut or the relief I get when I see how much I weight. Nobody understands what I'm going through. Therapists get paid to pretend to know that the know what you are going through. Of course, some of them genuinely do care but most of them are fake. I've been to a therapist before. She tried to make me talk and reveal all my pain but I didn't. I held it in.  
........

Finally, I'm home. It took me a few days to get used to everything. Mum tried to make me eat but I didn't budge. I stayed in my room most of the day. Sometimes, Niall would come over to see how I was doing. After all he was the only person I would talk to. He would tell me what I had missed out on in the past few months with the babies. He said that he didn't want to know the gender without me being there.

I would cuddle into him. The silence wasn't a uncomfortable one. He knows that I need this. That I need to know that he's there for me. Sometimes it's would hurt too much when he brought up my past. I love the blonde too much to be mad at him no matter what happens.

" _The worst kind of pain is_  
 _When you're smiling_  
 _Just to stop_  
 _The tears from falling."_

That quote describes me perfectly. My smiles aren't genuine. They are a masquerade.

" _Fake A Frown_  
 _You hurt others_  
 _Fake A Smile_  
 _You hurt yourself "_

I try to seem happy so I'm not herring anyone but myself. I'm so scared. I don't want to see the person who shall not be named.

"Niall" I whispered.

"Yeah Haz?"

"Can we.... Can we move?"

"Why do you wanna move babe?"

"I'm s-scared."

"Babe what's wrong. Talk to me."

I look down at my wrists that are no longer covered in bandages. They're still a bit red. The tears make their way down my face. I don't understand why I can't fake a smile around him. Ni pulls me closer to him as he kisses my forehead.

"Baby you know I love you so much. I love you more than to the moon and back. Please don't hurt yourself Haz. If this is about your dad, then baby I'll ask our mums. I don't think you actually want to move in together just yet."

"P-please Niall. Y-you don't u-understand. I-I- I don't want to be here. In this harsh reality that is the world. I attempted suicide for a reason. W-why d-did she h-have to go and s-s-save me?"

"Baby sshhh. Your mum loves you. Babe she doesn't want to lose you and neither do I. She needs you. The boys need you. I need you and more importantly, the twins need you."

"You can find someone else. Mum has Marcel. The twins have you. The boys have each other. I'm just a ugly nobody. I'm fat and hideo-"

"You're perfect to me baby. I'm not going to find anyone else. You keep us happy. I'm sorry, I ever made you doubt that. I love you baby"

I'm still crying. I hear a beautiful voice. It's another song.

_Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me_   
_But bear this mind it was meant to be_   
_And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks_   
_And it all makes sense to me_

_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile_   
_You've never loved your stomach or your thighs_   
_The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine_   
_But I'll love them endlessly_

_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_   
_But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to_   
_I'm in love with you and all these little things_

_You can't go to bed without a cup of tea_   
_Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep_   
_And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep_   
_Though it makes no sense to me_

_I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape_   
_You never want to know how much you weigh_   
_You still have to squeeze into your jeans_   
_But you're perfect to me_

_I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth_   
_But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to_   
_I'm in love with you and all these little things_

_You never love yourself half as much as I love you_   
_You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to_   
_If I let you know, I'm here for you_   
_Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh_

_I've just let these little things slips out of my mouth_   
_Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to_   
_And I'm in love with you (all these little things)_   
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_   
_But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to_   
_I'm in love with you, and all your little things_

"I love you Niall"

"I love you too babe"

I kiss his chest before I fall asleep. All this crying tired me out.


End file.
